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Relaties

Communicatie met Braziliaanse ex-vrouw

Ik heb vele verhalen gelezen over mannen in een scheiding. Zelf best wel lastige scheiding gehad, maar niet zoals ik sommigen heb gelezen. Respect voor die mannen en vrouwen! Hier onder mijn verhaal, maar verteld in een email conversatie tussen mijn ex-vrouw en ik. (Even voor de duidelijkheid waar we beginnen: Dochter is NL/Braz, woont bij moeder in Brazilie, is 12 jaar en moet naar voortgezet onderwijs, Ik betaal op dit moment €750.- per maand aan moeder en kind en dit gesprek gaat over het eventueel overnemen van de alle schoolkosten voor onze dochter. (Het begint uiteraard helemaal onderaan) - Na het lezen mag je me alles vragen ter verduidelijking.

Dit is het laatste email contact...

Why you want to know how much cost the school?
I know you know, but... let me explain how divorce works:
When the husband decide divorce, and he doesn´t wants cooperate, the wife needs go to court, than the court decide how much the ex husband needs pay alimony. Than, the wife needs manage the money for live with the children.
I believe that in the moment you decide go out of our life, I need take care about all alone, so I chose the xxxxx school and all for her because in the moment you leave us, you were worried only about your new wife and your new son. I and xxxxx we need take care about our life. Why now are you worried about how much cost the school?

I ask every year help to you with the school supplies, because the court don´t want to know and don´t care about which school our daughter will study, or if she go out on holiday and other things. The judge believe when the father says he have no job, than he give to ex wife a amount he think it´s ok. Than the ex wife needs fight to show that the amount is not enought for they have a decent life. Everythink here in Brazil it´s expensive, the minimum salary is a shame, everybody knows that, but, they still saying, it´s enought to live. Come here, wear my shoes and try live with my money, try live with one or two and half salary. It´s easy say something when someone live with 10 salary or more. The people want to know about themselves not about others.
I know... I know... have people living with less than me, yes have, are they living ok? I am sure they are not living ok.

The government and political class is worry only about themselves, they are no longer worried about who live with one or two salary, because some of them receive around 60.000,00 or 100.000,00 reais plus benefits and this is enought to make their world beautiful.

I don´t know if you know how work the things here in Brazil xxxx. I wish in the past you had been more sensitive with our situation and had made our divorce in Holland. The Dutch lawyer at the time I was in Holland, told me that if you had not started the divorce in Brazil I could had start the divorce in Holland. I think your initial idea would have been to have a divorce in Holland. I have the impression someone made you change your mind and you decide ask the divorce here in Brazil. Because in Brazil, I don´t know... maybe will be easier for you. Since the beginning the flood of the river is in your favor and against me. I swim, swim and go nowhere. I remember for all my life in the time I sign the divorce and your lawyer run with the divorce paper, I realized you are not my husband anymore, I start walk in the hallways, crying loudly and everyone look at me and the only thing my lawyer told me, from that moment I should stop buying expensive woman bag and I told her that I never bought expensive bag, at that moment I only had that purse, the one I was using. In that moment I realized that I had chosen a bad lawyer. I was caught in a trap, the judge on the audience divorce day was a substitute, I think after you wrote that letter he was thinking that I was another brazilian woman who wanted to earn money from a foreigner in Brazil. It was a very bad situation and it is hard to forget.

So, why you want to know how much cost xxxxx school? I hope you don´t still playing game. I am tired with you thinking be smart one is when you do things that help you to win a "race" that in fact is not a race it´s the life of our daughter.

If you have the curiosity to read the school brochures, you could see the school cost 855,55 reais per month on 2017, because every year this amount increase and also if I think necessary I will change xxxxx to other school and the prices will change as well.
Also in school, twice a year have some school travel, if she wants, she can study robotic, or chose a sport, she can study english. All those things made the school be more expensive. Nothing here it´s for free. The 855,55 is without nothing of those things.
The school price have nothing to do with the 1859,00 reais I am asking to you. This is a thing I ask to you every end of the year for help buy the xxxxx school supplies.
Every year the amount will change.

2017-01-16 15:09 GMT-03:00
xxxxxx,

I just want to know what are the costs per month. I need to have a number that the school of xxxxx cost. This so I can plan my own finance budget for this year. Surprises aren't really working out for me, so please give me a simple email with what the school costs per month.

xxxx

2017-01-16 18:35 GMT+03:00
You wrote in small font all the text and than after you wrote four letters in big font. Thanks!

The date, yes everybody can buy the digital books till 15th, but when I saw you will not send the money in time, I talk with school and ask if I can buy the books after 15th. They say ok. So, I was waiting you send the money. I told you about this, since the end of December and beginning of the month.

What I asked to you is:
Digital books cost 800,00 plus 300,00 (3 normal books, every book cost around 100,00) + 759,00 (tablet, if still the promotion in shopping) = 1859,00 reais.

This is the numbers real ones of thigs I need buy in school, some books cost more than 100,00, the name of the books we need buy is in brochures if you want search and look how much cost, it´s easy to know.
I don´t have a cost prove, because I didn´t buy yet, we have prove paper only when we buy something and the only thing the parents have here about what we need buy to school is in the brochures. The brochures explain to us what we need buy.
Here work like this.
Everything what I have I sent to you, the school brochures and a picture of the site where I need buy the digital books.
I don't want brochures or anything. I just want either 1 number per month and this number includes all the costs for that month for school.
What I am asking is not a month school, this I pay every month, what I ask is digital books and school supplies. For this I have no prove to give to you, only brochures and the site picture I took, like I explain before.

I asked you to send first amount on January and other amount on February because was you who give to me this idea, because is better for you, you wrote" I can only transfer this Monday or Tuesday and likely also in two parts." , I need to do my best to survive your idea, so, what I did? I asked more time to school and when I have 924,50, the amount you say you send in two parts, today or tomorrow I could buy the digital books with 800,00, than the rest of the money I will use to buy one normal book till you send the rest on February and I can buy the 2 books and the tablet. But you change everything and than I need borrow 400,00 reais to buy the books today and wait you send the rest.

Don´t worry I don´t go to Holland, if this is your fear.
xxxxx she doesn´t wants study in other school than here. She likes live here. I know I was unsuccessful in give a life for her in Holland.
And with 1859,00 reais I cannot go to São Paulo imagine to Amsterdam.
The euro it´s very expensive now, I have no house there and I cannot pay hotel.
So, I appreciate if you cooperate and don´t be so difficult.

2017-01-16 14:34 GMT+03:00
xxxxx,

What I want you to understand is very simple. Leave all anger aside and read this very well:

You need to cooperate better about your financial household. I don't need to know what you buy and stuff, I just want a list of numbers and these represent the months and the costs I have to pay for the school. I have to really budget things and need to know these things. This is the least you can do! I need names and numbers (reais).

I don't think you understand fully, but let me explain: The days money came in in larger amounts are over. This has been over for quite a while now and I do have to schedule lots of financial things ahead. I keep sacrificing a visit to xxxxx as well to come up with money I save up so I can see her. I need to borrow money, etc. That need to change and that will change right now! Again you are fuzzy with you information. You tell me such and such before January 15th and now it seems two payments can be done in January and February. If you don't provide this correct information, I will not transfer any more money other than the monthly support money. I keep doing this until you provide me with a clear cost model of what xxxxxx school costs. I don't want brochures or anything. I just want either 1 number per month and this number includes all the costs for that month for school. I need to know these things to deal with fluctuations, because telling me so short before deadline is not necessary.

So take your responsibility and provide this information. We will discuss it into detail. Please do this!

XXXXX
PS: I just transferred €400 to your account.This will be the last until we have discussed the yearly costs.

2017-01-15 3:22 GMT+03:00
Ok, so let me know if I understood... you can transfer the money in two parts, this mean, 1859,00 : 2 = 924,50
You will transfer 924,50 on Monday or Tuesday and 924,50 in February?
No problem.

2017-01-14 14:49 GMT-03:00
xxxxxx,

Sorry for the delay in my reply. I needed to know if I could arrange the money first. I can assist in this and will take over these costs. I can only transfer this Monday or Tuesday and likely also in two parts. What are the monthly payments because need to have everything clear. You asking for small amount obviously and I demand a proper break down of costs. Yes, I want my daughter to go to a good school too, but I am the one who need to come up with some way to fund it. Don't expect anything else...

mieke

mieke

17-01-2017 om 09:44

niet te volgen

Dit is echt niet te volgen zo. Veel te gedetailleerd en niet duidelijk wie nou wat schrijft. Misschien kan je even in het kort je probleem aangeven zodat wij je tips kunnen geven.

Mijn ervaring met een vriend met een vrouw uit een Oost Afrikaans land is dat hij gewoon moet betalen. Zijn vrouw en dochter wonen bij hem in Nederland maar van hem wordt verwacht dat hij geld overmaakt naar Afrika om haar volledige familie te ondersteunen en alle neven en nichten naar school te laten gaan. Kost hem honderden euro's per maand. Het is niet anders. Het schijnt heel gebruikelijk te zijn. Ze wonen zelf in een heel eenvoudige woning omdat er niets overblijft per maand om wat ruimer te gaan wonen.

Dus als jouw dochter in Brazilie woont dan denk ik dat iedereen ervan uit gaat dat jij alles voor haar betaalt (als zeer rijke Nederlander). Aan al jouw excuses dat je het niet kan betalen en dat je dat volgens de Nederlandse wet niet hoeft, hebben ze helemaal geen boodschap aan.

Alles controleren.

Sorry ik heb er moeite mee om door die lap tekst te worstelen maar als ex van een Braziliaan (mijn oudste zoon is uit die relatie) ken ik de mentaliteit daar. Vrouwen worden nogal slecht behandeld daar i.h.a. en leren vroeg om het onderste uit de kan te schrapen. Ik kan ze geen ongelijk geven tbh.
Maar voor de gemiddelde en wat eerlijkere/gezagstrouwe Nederlander is dit een moeilijke strijd. Verder hangt dat land van corruptie aan elkaar vast.
Controleer alles, bel de school, club alles waar je mee te maken krijgt.
Bereid je er op voor dat je echt moet leuren. Mensen reageren niet, doen loze beloftes. Stel als eis dat je nergens extra voor betaald zonder hard en officieel bewijs. Gestempeld en al en zelfs dan mag je hopen of het geen handje klap aldaar is.

Sterkte.

Paddington

Paddington

17-01-2017 om 10:50

Wat is nu precies je vraag?

Als jij wilt weten of het allemaal klopt, dan lijkt het mij zinvol om zelf de zaken te gaan onderzoeken. Kennis is macht in deze. Misschien kun jij zelf wel direct aan de school betalen.

Dus verdiep je in wat de kosten zijn van het leven daar. In de grote steden zal het vergelijkbaar zijn met hier, dus het ligt ook aan waar je ex-vrouw woont. Je put nu al je kennis uit 1 bron en die bron is je ex-vrouw.

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