Man is niet trouw

tja lady 1234

Ik zou niet te veel de verantwoordelijkheid op je nemen om net te doen alsof het piece en vre is. Het is zijn handelswijze wat jou tot daden dwingt tenzij je over je wil laten lopen. En of er nu een belangrijke dag aankomt of niet, jij hebt de verantwoordelijkheid over jezelf om er voor je dochter te zijn. Als je denkt dat dat beter lukt door dit geheim nog even te bewaren, oke. Maar het is niet jouw verantwoordelijkheid dat hij de keus maakt vreemd te gaan he?

Wat heb je er toendertijd aan gedaan om erachter te komen hoe het zat? het klinkt alsof je te maken hebt met een notoire vreemdganger; een recidivist. Denk je nog steeds dat je hem gaat veranderen of dat het misschien toch wel meevalt?
Het is hard, maar het is niet anders. met die vent van jou komt het niet goed. Aan jou de keus hoe nu verder...
sterkte hoor!

Trust that they suck

Van de website chumplady.com:

Trust That They Suck
December 18, 2012 by Chump Lady

Here’s a problem people new to this infidelity shit get stuck on all the time — they don’t really trust that their cheater sucks.

They pine. They spackle. They remember the good times. They spend a lot of time in therapist’s offices trying to “untangle the skein of fuckupedness.” They wonder what they did to make this person cheat on them. They wonder why their shared life together wasn’t enough.

Trust that they suck.

When you romanticize all the fabulous things they are doing with their fuckbuddy? The lingerie she bought to show him? The stuff she does in bed that she never did with you? The trip he took her on (probably to a place you went to together). And you imagine all the wonderful, sexy, good times you are missing out on?

Trust that they suck.

The holidays are especially rough. Especially a holiday like Christmas that’s centered around gift giving. Oh, the OW gets diamond earrings and I get a lump of coal and a giant legal bill? Splendid. Thanks. You may miss those holiday traditions you shared with your cheater, or with their family. Everyone gathered around the hearth, in handknit snowflake sweaters, crooning Christmas carols and eating exquisite marzipan chocolates…(No, it’s probably nothing like that, but the pain of exclusion can play tricks on the mind.)

Trust that they suck. And their family probably sucks too.

We have all these carefully crafted excuses for why they don’t really suck. They’re having a midlife crisis. This isn’t the REAL them. The real them will be coming out of the “fog” and will recommit soon!

Trust that they suck.

Cheaters suck. A person who betrayed you and endangered your health and well-being and your children’s? They suck! A person who is so selfish as to eat cake and fuck around on the side? They suck! When you internalize that they suck, and realize you are pining for a flaming dog turd? Then you will heal.

Why would you pine for a flaming dog turd?

1. You’re human and you’re grieving. We bond. That’s what loving people do. It’s hard to put a shared life into reverse and detach. Grief takes time, and you usually flounder through all the steps, denial, bargaining, anger, before you get to flaming dog turd acceptance.

2. Narcissists (and cheating is narcissism) are really good at projecting that they’re all that and a bag of chips. They were sparkly, and you know how great it is when they sparkle. You fell for it, so it’s natural that someone else would too. The affair partner hasn’t discovered the full magnitude of the cheater’s suckitude yet (look how long it took you), but oh, they will.

The best salesmen and charlatans excel at creating an air of exclusivity. I have something very special to offer you. Are you elite enough to be worthy? They want you to want what they have. They would love for you to do the humiliating dance of pick me and fight to be worthy. It’s part of the mindfuck you’ve been living under, to which the best antidote is reality. Mr/s Sparkle betrayed you. They’ll do anything for an ego kibble. Anything. They aren’t exclusive. They’re slutty.

3. At some level you’ve bought into the idea that this is best you can do. Trust that YOU don’t suck. Part of this is on you, chumps. Trust that you deserve better. That this isn’t your lot in life to pick from the reject pile of humanity. Yes, we’re all God’s children and in some way flawed. This isn’t about acceptance and unconditional love. Adult love comes with conditions — conditions like your partner should not act in ways to actively harm you. Conditions like mutuality and respect. It’s okay to have deal breakers. Your cheater is not the be all and end all. There are other, much better people out there deserving of your time and attention and love. Go find them!

And leave the cheaters to doing what they do best — sucking.

missschien

moet je helemaal geen gekopieerde teksten plaatsen. Daar is een forum toch niet voor

Marin

Marin:

Juf Ank: Uitzonderingen bevestigen de regel. Dat zou je als juf moeten weten.